Lost in Us (Heidi McLaughlin) by Heidi McLaughlin

Author:Heidi McLaughlin
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2014-10-12T23:00:00+00:00

I’m back to day one and standing outside the giant stadium. I know I’m taking a risk by coming here again, but after yesterday I can’t stop thinking about what Ryan said. He poured out his heart, leaving me somewhat blindsided, but also with the hope that there might be a chance. I’m the epitome of evil though, trying to steal another woman’s man. A situation like this is what makes great songs. I’m a stupid cliché and my own worst enemy. The last thing I want is for Ryan to hate me so I’m taking the hands-off approach. If Ryan reaches out for my hand, I’m going to nicely reject him. I don’t want the paparazzi to snap an innocent picture and blast it all over Page Six with a bogus headline. That’s not fair to Ryan or his girlfriend, and out of respect for her I’m going to do my best to keep Ryan faithful.

I’m not, however, giving up. I can’t. He opened a window for me yesterday, and that tells me that he’s not in love with Jessica. When he told me that he still loved me, my heart did a little shimmy, but I’m not naïve enough to think it’s the same type of love we’ve shared or what he’s feeling now for Jessica.

I have to remind myself to say her name. To make sure she has an identity in all of this. The minute I forget I know I’ll do something stupid. It’s not just Ryan and I; there are three of us in this triangle that I’ve created. Thing is, even if I knew about Jessica I’d still be here trying my hardest to get Ryan back. He’s my soul mate, my partner. I’m not nearly the person I should be without him. Ryan Stone completes me in every way possible. I’ve known that for almost ten years now.

Walking down the corridor, this time without my heels to make my presence known, I take the same escalator as I did before. The receptionist is at her desk this time and looks up when the door opens. I give her my best Hadley Carter smile and am graciously rewarded with one in return.

“May I help you?”

“I’m here to see Ryan Stone.”

“Do you have an appointment?”

I should have a standing one, but I ruined any chance of that happening. I shake my head quickly, much to her disdain. I catch the slight eye roll she’s performing before she looks away.

“Let me see if he’s free.” She looks down at her desk briefly before turning to her computer. “Mr. Stone is on a conference call. It could be awhile.”

“I’ll wait,” I say with a sugary tone. She doesn’t like me, I can tell. For all I know she could be best friends with Jessica, who could walk in any minute and go right into his office, but I can’t. I’m the outsider, the home wrecker. I pick up a copy of Live Entertainment and blanch. Of course Ryan and I are on the cover.

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